Monday, May 17, 2010

perks of the PEN15 club

I know everyone says this but the traumas of childhood really made me the type of woman I am today. If I was not tortured on a daily basis at such an impressionable age, I could have totally turned out to be one messed up bitch. I suppose there are limits or a mental threshold that's different for everyone, a not so fine line that separates those of us who will grow and find peace with our experiences from those that will probably end up maladjusted, picking off people at random with an M-16 on top of a building or even worse co-dependent blah!

I was a late bloomer, one of those dirty little kids for which adolescence would be a questionable experience. I recall often feeling at odds with the girl that I was and the woman that I wanted to be. I played sports and climbed trees but my favorite show was Fashion Television with Jeanne Beker on VH1. I was teased and betrayed a lot by girls growing up and I came to the conclusion that women make horrible friends. After you recover from the shock of how misogynistic that last statement was, take a moment to absorb the logic. The textbook chick is heightened emotionally, competitive, protective, idealistic, fiercely loyal and steadfast in her conviction. All characteristics the may serve you well in a relationship but not so much in a friendship.

My perspective on how most people conduct their friendships in life is with the mantra of "take it or leave it". As long as you serve MY needs, we can be friends...sad but true. Unless you gave someone your kidney, friendships are NOT unconditional. So I feel like MY needs have been best served lately by seeking out male friends. The textbook dude is generally non-committal, easily forgiving, and lax. Let's not forget that to them almost anything you wear is couture and the raucous laughter that ensues from a lifestyle of low brow humor and heavy drinking is unparalleled. Downsides? Being single and hanging out with a bunch of dudes. Your not getting many numbers when your weekends are spent rolling deep with the snake ranch.

I'm not saying that there are not exceptions to this, I have a few choice women that I am very privileged to know but as far as meeting any new ones...I can take it or leave it.


  1. I think I have found the trick for finding female friends...only befriend girls who only hang out with guys. It has served me well, hence our friendship!

  2. Wow yeah, great tip Alison! Tonight I was thinking about how much I would LOVE to go dancing but alas, will be with the boys at Fat Cat playing table tennis. lol It's a compromising existence but still rewarding.

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  4. night out dancing this w/e (lol)??

    i wanted to share this lovely and brief defense of one of the traits we ladies possess that is not conducive to easy friendships, idealism; the speaker's use of male pronouns as just a linguistic facilitator has the incidental effect of explaining why a girl might stand by her man to the point she needs to be shaken violently out of her delusional stupor:

    or at least that's what she tells herself